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Goodbye to you my trusted friend

Journal Entry: Sun Aug 17, 2008, 1:46 AM


Seventeen years ago you came to me,
the runt of the litter small and tiny.
It was love at first sight,
Came into my life shining so bright.
Always by my side,
there for the long ride.
You were always so strong,
your life was long.
You've left my side now,
to make a new path of your own,
straight up to heaven,
thats where you'll go.
Its with my Nana you will stay,
till we meet again one day.

Poem - Myself with love always to Peanut



Goodbye Peanut


This year has been pretty hard on me so far, Ive had a lot of personal things go on with me, some people I thought were friends ended up not being that at all. This month being the worst month I have had that I remember.
The icing on the cake was last night when my dog Peanut had a seizure. Shes had a few of these over the years, been to the vet for them, was told it was nothing to worry about, as they were very  small and not often. Shes also been on a special diet the past year or so because her kidneys have been backing it in.
Thsi last month or 2 she has gotten very  skinny :( shes all skin and bone. I had planed to take her to the vet after Chantelle goes to kates ( 4 days time) But lastnight Peanut had a seizure it was the biggest one I have ever seen her have, I scopped her up in my arms and held her while she seizured. She more or less fall asleep right away, so I warped her in a towel and held her close so she knew she wasnt alone. That night she stayed wrapped up in the towel in my arms on the sofa all night ( I sleep on the sofa when I have Chantelle here, as Chantelle has my bed while shes here )
This morning Peanut wasnt able to walk very  well, and wouldnt eat or drink anything.
Now Peanut is like a little piggy, she will eat anything and everything at any time. she will eat till she pops.
But today I wasnt able to get her to eat anything at all. I tried her with all her fav foods and with milk as she loves milk, but she refused everything. I was very  worried at this point. So I called Mum and told her Im going to make an appointment ( monday ) to take her to the vet as I knew her time on earth was up. But before I called Mum I decided to check on Peanut who had been asleep on the sofa for the past 2 hours. I picked her up to give her a hug, and let her know if she wants to let go she can, she doesnt need to hold on. ( I know that sounds silly, but I had the feeling she was only holding on for me ) As i was holding her and talking to her, she had another seizure worse then the one she had lastnight. All I was able to do was hold her in my arms and cry while this happened. within a few seconds of this happening, she had another seizure. At this point I was so upset ( you know when your crying so much you cant breath ) I had got myself into quite a state. Which also got Chantelle upset as she knew I was upset. So Chantelle was screaming, while I cried and Peanut was like a ragdoll in my arms.
I then called Mum. Mum called  the vets to see if we could take her in right away.
Mum then turned up here, helped me get Chantelle into the van ( Shes in a wheelchair remember this takes a while ) we then drove into the vets.
Once I took peanut inside the Vet told me there was nothing they could do for her. So she was put to sleep :(
I was fine I held back the tears determant not to cry in front of the vet. but as soon as I walked out with Peanut in my arms and I saw Mum, the waterworks were on again.
Mum drove us back to Mum and Dads. In the dark Dad dug a hole in Mums front garden while looks over the whole of Ohope. Its what everyone calls a million dollar view.
Home Sweet Hom by Tepara Welcome to my world by Tepara This is my world by Tepara
Tomorrow Mum is going into town, she will buy a yellow rose to plant on her little grave.

Rest in peace Peanut you will be missed greatly, you will always be in my heart.
DevWear a little differnt by Tepara Im a model by Tepara
Ops by Tepara We are family by Tepara
Best friends by Tepara
snooze by Tepara


You are my sunshine


The first night I got peanut she was expectantly a little scared being away from her Mum Dad and brothers and sister.
I held her in my arms rocked her and sun "you are my sunshine" to her. From that day on, when ever she was upset or scared or needing soothing. I would hold her in my arms and softly sing this song to her. It always helped keep her calm she would fall asleep as I sung it. When the vet injected her, as she was slipping away I held her singing this very softly in her ear

Listen on YOUTUBE

You Are My Sunshine
You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.


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:iconbdwfh:
bdwfh Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2009
:iconsweethugplz:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2009  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you hun
Reply
:iconsabretoothed-fox:
Sabretoothed-Fox Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008
:tears: I'm very sorry about your dog, Peanut.... You sound like you were a very good friend to her, and I'm sure she was... happy when.. :cry: you sang to her one last time.....

Your story was so beautiful, it made me cry, and I am still crying now.... Good luck to you, :happycry: she is happy now, wherever those canine angels-on-earth go....
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for your kind words :)
Reply
:iconsabretoothed-fox:
Sabretoothed-Fox Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008
:) Naw, no problem. Thank you for noticing me... :/ haven't seen many people so popular on dA yet so caring... :D thanks *you*.
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:)
Reply
:iconpepelepewissexier:
Pepelepewissexier Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008
:iconlovehug: I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am to hear about your loss!!! :iconfurryhugplz:

:heart:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thanks hun :)
Reply
:iconpepelepewissexier:
Pepelepewissexier Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2008
My Pleasure!

:heart:
Reply
:icontylersangel:
TylersAngel Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008
oh dear....................:tears: :petting:

she's not really far away....she's here in your :heart:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 20, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah, thank you :)
Reply
:iconfiredance99:
firedance99 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008
I know how horrible it is to lose a pet you've had for a couple of years, it must be so much worse for 17 years :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
yeah, Ive had many pets over the years, cats dogs, rabbits, calves, lambs, kids ( baby goats are called kids, just incase you thought I had kids and was calling them pets little animals :P ) rats, mice, fish, frogs ( stolen from the wild ponds :P did you know they eat themselves :O eww ) ginnie pigs. you know what Ive had enough pets to have been open my own pet shop :faint: Im missing so many different pets Ive had too.
Most I had for anything between 6 months and 10 years.
Its always hard when losing a pet. When the farm animals where sick. I always used to go look after them. In the end Dad wouldnt let me look after them because when they died, Id be in tears and he hated seeing me upset, still down. he even stopped letting me have pet lambs calves goats. Cause they always ended up in the freezer, and I would make him feel like he just killed a family member, and I wouldnt eat meat till I knew none of the meat in the freezer was from my pet. And Id refuse to eat anything else surved up with it, cause it "touched" my pet hehe.. Silly I know, but hey I was stubborn just as much then as I am now :P
But the thing with all those pets including cats they always were outside. Cats yes sometimes will sleep on my bed etc. But peanut, from the day I got her she slept in my bed with me. Not just on the bed, right under the blankets in with me snuggled up right beside me. Even in the summer when it was the last thing I wanted. If I went anywhere she came with me, be it driving walking and often work.
She even went down to palmy with me and back all the 100's of times I drove back and fwds when I lived down there but was working up here ( 6 hour drive on way)
and when I went to pick up Yvan, that was 12 hours ( 6 there and 6 back) peanut was right there with me.
if I went away on holiday if she wasnt able to come, neither did I.
The only time Peanut didnt go with me, was when I went to Aussie for 10 days. And that was only because I didnt have enough time to get her cleared to come over with me.
So in a way she was closer to me then a child is to its mother.
It was a very rear thing to see me without peanut with me.
Everything I ever went though in the past 17 years she was right there beside me.
So she wasnt just my pet, when was my life line. And now without her. as silly as it may sound to others. It feels like my life stopped with hers. :(
Ill know in time Ill get over it, but for now, I wish it was my life taken not hers.
Reply
:iconhelewidis:
Helewidis Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008   Photographer
:cries: I know the feeling yet I don't know the words... so, I just hold you tight on a hug... :cuddle:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( Thank you
Reply
:iconhelewidis:
Helewidis Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008   Photographer
:hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:hug:
Reply
:iconjules1983:
Jules1983 Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( So sorry to hear that :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 19, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( Thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconalchimichi:
Alchimichi Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008
; ;

plz forgive my random comment -- i found your page from daniel's page; i hope you don't mind

i've done it at least once or twice in my day. to hold your best friend's dying hand in your own. there's nothing else that can match such pain. furthermore to be in a position where there's nothing you can do to help, or to even be there...or to be too late...agonizing...

i am so sry you had to endure this. this hits very close to home.

on the brighter side, this friend is in a better place. carefree. just know that both you and she now exist together in forever. she'll have you in her eternity. continue to dream of her and she'll stay in yours. ^^ plz know she's in the world of bliss that she shared w/ you.

plz accept my best wishes.
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you for your kind words :hug:
Reply
:iconmidorichilde:
midorichilde Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Student Digital Artist
Awww.. I am so sorry to hear. <3 This made me all teary-eyed
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Im sorry too. Thank you :)
Reply
:iconmidorichilde:
midorichilde Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Student Digital Artist
You're welcome. Looks like a cute and wonderful friend. =)
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
yes she was, very much so
Reply
:iconzombie-flesh:
zombie-flesh Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
that's bad :( I remember when my first pet dogs died when I was younger I was very upset.... dogs are a big loss, every one is individual and has their own personality, to lose one takes a big part of your life away, but as we discovered in our household, the empty space where the dog was, in the family, has to be refilled... so look forward to finding another pet, probably another pup with a great personality!! :hug: :)
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Not for a while though, at the moment it would just feel like Im replacing her,
Reply
:iconfangedfem:
fangedfem Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008
I am so so sorry :cling: I know this feeling all too well having lost so many in recent years - it aches so very much :heart: Know she is with you always.
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( Thanks hun :hug:
Reply
:icongilly71:
Gilly71 Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
So sorry about Peanut. :(
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
me too :(
Reply
:iconsnowmask:
snowmask Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
:(


My condolences :petting: :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( Thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconftourini:
ftourini Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Digital Artist
:tears: oh god its so hard when so good friends leave this world :(
Sometimes i stop seing pets like animals and see them as part of the family and this makes seperating even harder :petting:

I hope that you are well and remember peanut as it was :)
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
yeah she wasnt just my pet, she was well my everything :(
the longest she was ever away from my side was 10 days and that was only because I went over seas and she wasnt able to come with me.
She came with me everywhere, even to work on a number of times. If you ever saw me without Peanut by my side something wasnt right. Even since the day I brought her home my bed was her bed. Right up till yesterday when she died :(
Reply
:iconhellfirediva:
hellfirediva Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Photographer
:hug: so sorry hun :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( Thank you :hug:
Reply
:iconwaves-of-illusion:
waves-of-illusion Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008   Photographer
aww ..you and your puppy are in my thoughts and prayers :heart::hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:hug: Thank you
Reply
:iconexarobibliologist:
exarobibliologist Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Professional Photographer
:cries: I'm so sorry to hear about Peanut.
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:( thank you
Reply
:iconradiopooh:
radioPooh Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008
sorry to hear about Peanut .. your journal entry made me cry .. I understand the sorrow
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you,
Reply
:iconcybergranny:
cybergranny Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
oww hun I'm sorry to hear that.
It must have been a hard moment, but at least you were with her and she could feel that she was loved till the end :heart:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you :(
It was very hard and still is shes been in my life for more then half my life, everywhere I look Im reminded of her in one way or another.
I just feel so empty without her :(
Reply
:iconcybergranny:
cybergranny Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
:( :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
:sniff:
Reply
:iconcybergranny:
cybergranny Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Things will go better :hug:
Reply
:icontepara:
Tepara Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah I know :hug:
Reply
:iconmilly-milly:
Milly-Milly Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008
Deb I'm so sorry:hug:She was a wonderful little dog i will miss her:hug:but never forget so long as she's in your heart she's never that far away:heart::hug:
Reply
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