A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the
branch and wrote, "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag."
While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police
before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America
and crossed the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few
minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read
it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest
light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note
because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he
would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to
Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and
left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back
at Bank of America.

=========================

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that
measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later
received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several
days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another
picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.

=========================
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded
all of the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in
a
bag, the robber saw a bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter
on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the
cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21."
The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his
driver's
license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it
over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and she put the
Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The
cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours
later.


========================
Jack and Jill

Jack and Jill Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
And now two of his front teeth are missing.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
With a keg of brandy
Jack got stewed,
Jill got screwed
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy
=========================